Hardware Store Family

Did I ever tell you how Miss Hardware fell in love?

Well once upon a time, there was a girl. She graduated from high school and moved out on her own. In this new town she moved to, there were two places hiring for the summer,

• 1.) Baskin Robbins (Soooooooooooooo Temping!) 
• 2.) The local Hardware Store (Not so tempting) 

 The hardware store was not so tempting for Miss Hardware because... are you sitting down?... she knew NOTHING about Hardware. But she has a master carpenter for a grandfather and helped a little during a family roofing project. Totally plausible right?

THE Interview:

Bossman: "Do you know anything about Hardware?"
Me: (Nope.) "Just the basics... I'm pretty sure that's a hammer!"
Bossman: "Can you use computers? We just installed computers on our registers."
Me: (OMG Totally! Hopefully it's programmed by myspace..) "Yes, I love computers."
Bossman: "Can you speak any spanish?"
Me: (Uht Oh..) "I took four years in high school....?Um, I can bake cheesecake!"
Bossman:(20 seconds of concerned stare) "I suppose you'll work. You start on saturday" 

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

So it turns out, his desperation totally got me a job. At the time he only had a few 'older' retired gentlemen working for him who weren't too interested in learning how to use computers, or speak spanish. Score! So for the whole summer I followed the guys around asking a million questions, listening to everything they said and regurgitated it like a pro. Because just like in hollywood sometimes you need to fake it to make it. So at some point during the end of this summer, I am minding my own business (happily in a relationship) dusting and straightening the register counter, when the breath is knocked out of me by a pair of green eyes and a smirk. Oh No, customer eye candy is the last thing I need. I pretend to function normally as I ring this guy up and turn around in shock to my go-to old guy Mr. J.

ME:"Oh my gawd, who waaass That????"
Mr.J: (Laughing) "Who James? oh he's a local kid, grew up with my kids. Used to coach him in T-ball."
ME: "You know him????"
Mr.J:(Shaking his head at me) "I can see where this is going..."
ME: (FREAKING OUT) "I don't know what your talking about."

So many months go by with me acting like an idiot, and for some reason not mentally prepared to deal with this guy at all, and he doesn't even talk! He just kinda has a smirk on his face as he wanders around the store. Oh well, he was way outta my league anyway. But somehow life always seems to get interesting. The next spring I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, which was terrible, as break ups always are. A few months go by and I think to myself "It's summer again, its been a while, maybe I should ask someone out". Hmmm that's a scary thought. But I've never had much of an embarrassment factor so how bad could it be? Well of course the first person I think of is James Boy Hardwonder. How am I going to do that? I can't do it when he's at the store, I would never hear the end of it from Mr. J and the guys. And so I, Miss Hardware, decided to look up his number is our customer info system (I'm horrified typing this out loud, but it's sooooooooo true!) AND just call him on the phone.

THE phone conversation: Ring Ring Ring

Girl Answers: (CRAP! of course he has a girlfriend! Why didn't I clear that with Mr.J first??? oh yeah, cuz i'm an idiot) "Hello?"
ME:(FREAKING OUT)"Hi, is James there?"
Girl: "Uh yeah.....(Pause)..... Who is this again?"
ME: (CRAP): "Uh it's kip.....from the hardware store....."(Dying)
Girl:(TOTALLY awkward and amused)"Uh yeah....(snicker snicker giggle)....hold on"
Boy Hardware:"..Hello?.." 
ME:(FREAKING OUT): "Hey it's Kip.....from the hardware store..."(OH I'm such an idiot!!!!) BHW:"Yeah I heard..."
ME:(JUST GO FOR IT!!!)"Um hey, so I was wondering.. I feel like we've kinda gotten to know each other (NOT at all. I'm just obsessed with you secretly) and I was wondering if you'd be interested in hanging out sometime... outside of the store...? And no worries if you not into this idea, It was just an idea on my part. (OH Sh*T!)
BHW: (Super awkward pause) "Uh, no yeah. I'd be interested in that idea. WHy don't I meet you after work on sunday and we can talk about what we want to do?"
ME:(Not breathing) "Yeah that sounds great, i'll see you then"
BHW:"How did you get my number...?"
ME:"From the store computer...."(I'M Such a STALKER!!!)
BHW:"Oh. ok cya sunday. Bye" ME: "Bye!" Click.

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STORY TO BE CONTINUED.....